Owen rocks the 'fro

Not much new to report.
Had a lovely Saturday and just had to share. Slept in for a long time next to my very warm, very snuggly husband, ate life-changingly good omelets made by said husband, and hung out for the afternoon with Adriel. I even did laundry and (gasp!) emptied half of the dishwasher. Although there were plenty of flunkies in the silverware department.
So excited to sleep in tomorrow as well.

Go and Get It. Right Now.

Got the new Snow Patrol album today. I am going to render my iPod useless if I listen to it one more time. So beautiful. There are so many layers and elements of hip hop, 20th century music, and good old Snow Patrol rock in there. All sewn together by Gary Lightbody's lyrics. The album is cyclical and starts as it ends, and the words speak of pulse, and warmth, and the overwhelming feeling of existing between the planets.

It feels like a privilege to listen to it, because there is just so much work and time, and the story of a real, private relationship all played out in it. Thank you Snow Patrol for pulling it off, yet again.

4 years

Happy Anniversary to me and my baby. 4 years together as man and wife. Lots of good stuff, lots of scary stuff, but I'm glad it's all been with you.

Vintage Goodness

My new favorite thing is embroidered pillowcases...I got these beauties at an antique and salvage shop in Door County on our anniversary vacation. And some cool printer letters/numbers to add to my collection. And, underneath it all is an apron. For $3.00! It is just about the cutest thing ever. I'll have to model it later.

Missed.

Friday was my best work bud Adriel's last day. To say I was lonely today at work would be an understatement. He will really be missed. To quote the visionary 80's hairband Cinderella, "Don't know what you've got, till it's gone". Indeed.

Getting Inventive vs. Facing Roadblocks

I feel like I have a million things swirling in my head and circulating on list after list of all the things I "need". I feel like it's actually stifling me, holding me back from doing a lot of things. We just finished putting wood laminate flooring in our main floor - and it looks sooo good btw. We finished the moulding last night, and now everything is moved back into place. Now, I have to clean/dust and put all my things (read: pictures, candles, knick-knacks) back into place. But, I felt like I couldn't finish all that until I had a Swiffer Dry Vac to clean up the floors when I'm done. Seriously, like I couldn't have gotten started even? That seems very obsessive to me. Or maybe really lazy.
It is so the same deal that I have with scrapbooking. "I need this and this and this before I can even think about starting this project". That seems absurd to me now in this lucid moment, my thoughts unclouded by the dizzying product drunkeness of my basement studio (the word "studio" is used very, very loosely here). I have SO much paper, SO much cardstock, and SO many stamps, stickers, embellies, alphabets, and on and on and on. How could I possibly NOT make something. Case and point: the album pictured - although poorly pictured. It was made as a "birthday album" for a friend/co-worker. I made it entirely (except the album itself) with things I already have. She, of course, does not know or care that it's all super old DCWV stack stuff, that I almost cringe at. Why? It really is pretty paper - simple stripes and dots and florals. What could be wrong with that?
I know it's been discussed ad naseaum on Two Peas, and Ali E. has addressed it. I just really need to start to use what I have. Some of my favorite pages are the ones where I've had to be inventive. To use the stuff in my stash and tell the story. To tell the story better, not necissarily prettier. Although, pretty is nice.
I have lots of pending projects, including a baby album for the friend mentioned above. I am pushing myself to dig a little deeper in that studio/dungeon and get inventive.

Ahhh Mr. Lightbody....you stir me up

I don't think I'm that easily starstruck, but when it comes to this man, I could turn into a screaming teenager in a kitty-wink (in reality, if I really ever saw him in "real-life" I would probably just freeze, as the sight of him would cause my nervous system to cease). Sure, he's just a dude who can sing and is musically/lyrically talented, you say. Maybe it is the lyrical thing that really draws me the most. So yeah, I've had all the training with voice lessons since forever ago, radical community musical theatre, and the whole music degree thing. But really, talk to me about chord progressions, The Golden Mean, and every tiny tid-bit of the history of this and that, and it will never hold a candle to the words for me. Granted, I do realize that all the rest is just as vital. But, give me the right words and I'm rapt. The gloriously painful clarity that loving someone brings - especially when you've screwed things up irreparably. Those are the feelings that Gary's eloquence brings to life. And damn, that's what I love. It brings back the days of my youth when I just couldn't end one relationship and then begin another, if you know what I mean...

I'm most compelled by the honesty, I suppose...it's the kind of "put it out there" attitude that seems like it would make for awkward family dinners with the girlfriend. "So, Gary, dear, sounds like you and the Mrs. are havin' some trouble....anything you wanna talk about?" I've always loved people who don't have any reticense about saying what's really going on sans the socially comforting sugar-coating. That's something I have trouble with, so I've always admired that quality.

So, the moral of my tirade is: Listen to Snow Patrol, you'll like it. And listen to more than "Chasing Cars" for goodness sake.

Rough day

I absolutely hate days like this...days when I lose my cool and feel totally out of control when it comes to my son. He's certainly changing. Gone are the days of my sweet, tiny guy who was happy to be held or sleep alone in his Pack 'n Play, soothed by just a little music. Now, with teething and just general attitude, he cries, he hollers, he does a lot of whining. Lots. So, I get angry when I can't figure out what he needs, and when he's so obviously tired and yet refuses to take even one little nap. He is, of course, still incredibly sweet, and I should take most of this as great stuff. To remember this time last year, when he was so incredibly sick, always the first baby the doctors would round on in the morning. I was just praying that I would be able to bring him home and deal with the whining/crying/no napping.
Jason, as usual knows exactly how to make me feel better. When I'm convinced Owen hates me, he says "You and I are the only people he wants to come to when he is scared or hurt. He doesn't hate you, he loves his Momma". Okay. So he's got me there.
So, there it is. Some days are bad, and I yell and scream (which does not help one iota, in case you were wondering), and then I feel awful. Some days I could definitely try harder to be a better mom, but some days I just have to accept that I am not going to be perfect, and that I am going to make mistakes (lots of them). But, it will be okay. We will all be okay.

My baby is one. I can't believe it.

Me and my guy. He was actually pretty crabby with teething, being tired, and seeing lots of new faces. But, it's still a day that I am amazed has already come and past - I've waited for it for so long. Happy Birthday, my sweet little miracle boy.

Super Tuesday WishList

I love wishlists. Well, I just love lists in general. Grocery lists, playlists, to-do lists...but wishlists are almost like actually shopping, especially scrappin' wishlists.
So, here's the things I'm craving for my stash today....most of them are actually kind of basic, which I take as a good thing:

• 12x12 kraft cardstock - lots of it. I can't get enough of this stuff
• 12x12 white cardstock - runnin' really low
• 12x12 black cardstock
• 12x12 dark brown cardstock
• 12x12 blue cardstock - lots of boy pages to do
• 12x12 green cardstock - again with the boy pages
• Brown American Crafts chipboard Thickers
• SEI "Family" word album
• E6000 glue
• Prima Paintables Watercolor paper
• Super tiny brads - neutral colors
• 4x6 or so lined stamp
• Autumn Leaves big swirls stamps
• Crate Sweet Branch Collection

Very cool stuff. The only thing that I really don't have a plan for (read "I really don't need it") is the Sweet Branch patterned paper. But, it is so cool and kinda spring-y. Take care all!

Happy Graduation...

...to my NICU baby. This didn't occur to me until Owen was having his VCUG for his renal appointment, and the nurse said "he looks so good, I would have never known he was a NICU graduate". But, yes, Owen is a NICU graduate. On the day we left, Oct. 12, 2007, nothing was certain. But, it seemed almost certain that he would end up back in the NICU. We had waited for 121 horrible days to take him home, and from the looks on the doctors faces, and the nurses "don't blame yourself if you have to come back" speech, our joy and relief turned to panic. I had planned to take so many pictures; all of our nurses, the 3 of us together, holding him...I barely took any I was so scared. I wanted to cry. Why did they even decide it was time for him to come home? Still, we loaded up into the car (after installing the car seat - which took at least an hour, and looking at both the car seat instructions and the Vibe's instruction manual - WAY harder than I thought it would be) and we made our way home.
So, in response to that (and probably with lots of help from my Czech stubbornness), I decided I was NOT going to let him get re-admitted to the NICU. Jason made a spreadsheet and we tracked everything - every med, how many ounces in each bottle, even diapers. Looking back, it was pretty obsessive (oh me? no way!). But, it was the only way we could feel in control. I was still pretty sick, and no one could figure out why my blood pressure wasn't correcting, and I just wanted to sleep. Thankfully, Owen did sleep quite a bit, but I still felt completely overwhelmed and frustrated every day. He wasn't growing as fast as I expected, and the incredible amount of appointments and home visits seemed to be more than I could handle. Somehow, it happened though. He wasn't re-admitted, and he managed to avoid getting sick at all. His growth has been slow compared to other babies (which is my current obsession), but he has come so incredibly far. And, he did graduate. Today, we are talking about crawling, and teething, and speech instead of lung surgery, and the isolette, and MRSA. Jason and I have graduated too. Into real parents. From despair and fear to hope and laughter. From barely knowing the little boy in the red puppy-dog snuggly to waking up to get him from his crib every day.
We still walk by the NICU sometimes when we are at the hospital for appointments, and it still sort of feels like home (and I still hate that painting of all the twins). I feel so proud, and I hope that one of our old nurses will come out and see the boy that was once "the sickest baby in the NICU", and how he's transformed to our happy, crazy, teething, almost toddler. Maybe it doesn't feel like home....maybe more like our alma mater.

New and Pending Projects...updated: got it done!

Simple Happiness:

This is a sweet little mini-album I'm working on using the May kit from Studio Calico. I loved the combo of the yellows and black and white. I used an Arte Blanche album as the base - it has all these cool windows. Then I got a bunch of 2x2 pics from Scrapbooking Pictures, some in B&W and some in color. There's not too much left to finish this one off:

1. Cut out remaining circles for pages and hambly circles for windows, stamp flourishes

2. Write out journaling - possibly on journaling spots

3. Add Pics

4. Embellish with birds and flourishes cut from Prima Paintables paper. Call 'er done!

I hope to finish this one within the next couple days, so I can post!



Owen's 1st Year Album:

This one just blows my mind....my baby is going to be a year old! So, I have a couple months left in his album, and then I have to fill in with 4x6's. The hardest part of this one will be organizing the pics chronologically. Usually, I'm not really a stickler for chronology, but with this album I think it's pretty important.

My sweet little family - on Easter Sunday.

I hope you learn....

To Owen:

There are so many things that I want you to learn from your Daddy. He is such an incredible man.

• I hope you learn to harmonize like him. He can pick up harmonies like nobodies business. I've had years of singing training and I don't come close to his abilities when it comes to hearing the inner parts of a song.


• I hope you learn your daddy's quiet strength. It is incredible. He took such good care of me when I started to get sick when I was pregnant with you, and then he took care of both of us after you were born. To this day, I'm still not sure how he kept it all together.


• I hope you learn your daddy's sense of humor. It's so quiet and intelligent. He makes me laugh everyday, and at least once a week I laugh so hard, I cry.


• I hope you learn to love to travel. He loves to plan trips and go and see new things.


• I hope you learn to try new food like your daddy. He's pretty much unafraid. I've seen him order Beef Laab at a Thai restaurant (incredibly spicy!) to green-lipped mussels at the Mission Grille in Door Cty. I love that sense of adventure and "nothing to lose" attitude about him.


• I hope you learn to be a hard worker like him. He's not afraid at all to jump in and get his hands dirty.

Your daddy is an amazing man, Owen. He is a wonderful example for you, and I am so proud to have made you with him. Love you both.

Post Christmas Relief....

I love Christmas. I love to decorate and wrap presents. I love the carols and I really love the food. But, when it's over the only sadness I feel is when I know I have to spend SO much time taking down all of the decorations I put up. I guess that means I've spent the holiday in a way that makes me feel the most fulfilled. Now to get Jason feeling the same....That's definitely a resolution.
Watching Gavin have his first Christmas was a hoot too-he loved that tissue paper. And, anything that made noise. Which was just about every gift he got...ahhhh the joys of parenting. So I'm told anyway.
Tomorrow is OUR Christmas. Just me, Jas, and our tiny little girl. I'm so excited to have Jas open his gifts. Which reminds me that I need to wrap Sophie's gifts....She loves to unwrap them. She loves to tear (and eat!) paper no matter what the season. So, when she is allowed to do it once a year, she really takes advantage of it!
Can't wait! Maybe that's why I never feel bad about Christmas being over...We always drag it out for as long as possible.

Well....

I'm terrible at this blogging thing! I had great intentions of keeping up with it and making daily entries.
Well no time like the present, right?
With the holidays coming on hot and heavy Jason is more devoured by work. I'm trying really hard to be the best and most understanding wife I can be. Trying really hard to strike a balance between not going crazy when he works for 14 hours and making sure that he realizes that his life is at home with me and Sophie. I know he knows his family needs him, but for some reason, he just feels so personally responsible. Usually everything goes so much better than he planned. I don't know if he gears himself up for the worst so that when things go well he is pleasantly surprised, or if he is just the biggest worrywart on the face of planet Earth.

Current Projects in my head:Book of my Husband-things he likes, and his old and new loves, his favorites, etc
Little Sophie flip book-want to use BG "Sophie" papers, and all the fake credit cards I get in the mail. Photos and stories, attached with a big book ring
Favorite Christmas Recipes-Using Blitzen or Holiday Hoopla
Favorite General Recipes-using 2-up album (what PP to use?)
Ribbon Storage-not sure about how to go about this one...my ribbon obsession is growing at a frightening pace-I MUST have more!

I'm also working on a wish list-c'mon scrappin' gift cards from Santa!!

Until tomorrow-maybe...